Full house. Argh. We came later than I usually would because Messi wanted to tag along. I knew it was less-than-wise consenting from the start but when your best friend wants to bond, you agree for all the wrong reasons – this instance was a case in point.
We glanced over the sea of bodies and saw a spot that could accommodate one and a third bodies – with enough carelessness the people around us would shift and accommodate two bodies. The women were heavy made up. I never understand how you came to a core stability class all done up. To what purpose? To like a crack whore after one of the most grueling physical experiences in the world. It made little sense but this was a university town and most everyone was looking to get laid. Outside the walls of the studio were men pumping iron like their lives depended on it, so here the ladies were…
Messi chatted without end as usual. It drove me nuts at times, much like at that moment. A steam roller had no chance when Messi got to chatting. The looks of disapproval bothered me none as we advanced to space one and a third. I saw them and gave them to the attention they deserve, not a minute of my time. We rolled out our mats and sat down. Sitting was easy. The rest would be a bitch. A hardcore, tireless bitch.
The overly energetic instructor came in; I always thought she was ill-suited to a class that required calm and concentration. Messi was still chatting without taking note that the entire room was silent. My look of disbelief soon put her on mute.
The warm up was slow and Messi scoffed at my tales of terror. This is going to be a breeze – her words, not mine. I scoffed and said nothing but smiled knowingly after. The instructor continued with a close eye on the noisy duo.
“Are you shitting me, she expects us to do what?” A chorus of ill-timed shhhs are directed our way – it was only a matter of time, 20 minutes in and Messi hasn’t shut up for more than 59 seconds. I look at Messi regretting consenting. I knew she would bitch and moan. She looked at me with a hint of confusion, “how the hell do you do that?” I simply shrug my shoulders. Halfway through the class, Messi gives up and pointedly walks out the class. Every single person is grateful and I am do a little happy dance in my head; the instructor’s tone is much friendlier and we finish the class in peace.
When I get to the Messi is lying uncomfortably on the back seat. I tap on the window and she rolls down the window reluctantly before she says, “muscles I wasn’t even aware I had are aching.”