Your turn.

They had reached the point in their relationship. They had to move another level or leave each other. She asked him,

“Are you in or out? Are you willing to take the plunge or are you going to stand there thinking, wishing, analysing, contemplating? I need an answer but before you make  a decision I have to tell you something I doubt I ever told you before. Whether you leave me after this is of no consequence, I just need to let you understand.

Do you know how much love I have for you? Do you understand what love has in store for you? Could anyone? I will give myself completely, if fact, I already have. It doesn’t matter whether you don’t love me as I do you. All I need is your love; your way.

I have loved you since before I first met you. I have loved you since the first time I saw you. I have loved you since the first time I kissed you. I have loved you since before you were conceived. I have loved you since before Creation. I was made to love you.

I can’t promise you the stars. It’s not mine to give away. I won’t promise you the moon; night walks won’t be the same without it. I can’t promise you the earth; I’d disrupt too many lives if I did. I won’t promise you the sun; the universe will be in chaos.

I do promise that I will kiss you goodnight before we fall asleep in each other’s arms. I do promise that you will be the first to know if something is bothering me. I do promise you that in all I do I will remember that my actions affect your life. I do promise to put no person or anything else before you (except myself, of course). I do promise to respect you as my life partner. I do promise you that I will try with every cell in my body to make a success of our relationship.

I promise you that at this point in my life I cannot picture myself without you. I cannot picture loving anyone else as deeply, completely and passionately.

Your turn.

He is…

He must be breathtaking in appearance.

His inner spirit should radiate in such a way that there is no mistaking this man’s rarity.

His eyes should be comparable to the sun: strong, vibrant, powerful, and life giving. They are the windows to his soul after all.

I want an intellectual who can converse on many subjects with people from all walks of life.

His touch must calm a wounded animal, soothe a crying babe and restore former beauty.

Spirituality for him should be a way of life not a one-day-a-week affair.

He should do what he loves regardless if it rakes in millions or barely brings in a penny. He needs to be happy first.

I deserve a man whose strongest qualities are loyalty and faithfulness.

His passion has to be living life to the fullest.

I don’t want a man who is only half-awake, half-aware, and half-alive.

Musings 1

Cease to believe the words spoken to me. The walls aren’t closing in; I’m unable to fit. The world is looking at me and I’m looking away. I long to be in his embrace, yet I don’t know his name, I’ve yet to meet him. She towers over me; I want to trample her under my feet.

I want to be alone. I want someone to love me. I want to be free. My heart has been ripped from my body and thrown halfway across the world. I have no one to call my own. I’m sweetly and softly and seductively embraced by painful lonely solitude, a grip I cannot be released from. One I never want to.

Confinement

Confinement. Deafening silence. Inward chaos. Constant screaming in my head. The bitter taste of sorrow fills my mouth. Freedom is far from here.

Consequences: the inevitable result of action. An action: the inevitable result of a consequence. Logical, efficient, and assertive these are the qualities of successful people. What is wrong with me? What will become of me?

All around me are negative energies. Hostility, uncertainty, and confusion. My head us throbbing. I am getting queasy. My food is on a rollercoaster ride. My stomach’s turning. I feel hoe the food is going up, up, up and out it comes. Blank. Nothing.

The bitter sorrowful taste in my mouth is replaced by one more pleasant, that of sour milk. As I slowly start to see colours blending into each other, I see a beautiful colour collage.

The serene green of the hills and vibrant orange of the setting sun intermix superbly. The crimson red and pastel yellow resemble polka dots. As I touch the collage my shaky fingers glide unsteadily across the blurry floor. It’s like a duck’s wobble.

When everything is eventually put into perspective the morbid dark clouds are back. All the radiant sunshine disappears. Before me was vomit, no colour collage, no beauty, just vomit.

Thoughts rolling

I see the world through hopeful eyes. I want a better world. I love our differences I despise our indifference. I want to make world a better place.

 

Collisions. I collide. Everyday. With most anyone. Fighting the restraints. Violently cursing my muzzle. Why won’t they let me speak? Why do they refuse to listen? When did we stop learning? We lied and said we knew it all.

 

Burn the script. The production is a farce. The director is in it for the money. The show needn’t go on even if you weather the storm. Go out there and learn to dance like a pro. That is what it means to be a true man.

Passing through heaven

Looking down from above can give one a feeling of wonder and extreme superiority. Everything is small and meagre when you’re given a bird’s eye view. Mountains no longer lead to the gods but are made mere footpaths for mortals.

Intrigued and excited by an eloquently written novel, the sky just passed me in a blur. At peace and stimulated, with an insightful book, my attention was drawn to the window as lightening struck. I was given a glimpse.

Within a few seconds I saw so much it seemed to have lasted for eternity. The fluffy clouds reflected a dazzling white as droplets do in the early morning. They simmered, glittered, and gave the illusion of purity. Their nature seemed less transparent yet when enough droplets had gathered I knew the cloud would burst. When it burst mother earth could be nourished or drenched.

The colour spectrum is vast and open. No artist has ever evoked a more perfect blend of contrasting and harmonic colours. No picture has ever had such a vibrant feel with such a calming effect.

The setting sun gives the heavens a tint of pink which collaborates with the hazy blue to create a subtle purple. The product of the lightening is a sense of timeless majesty in the sky.

The horizon was as breathtaking as the Niagra falls. The vastness of the sky is similar to that of the ocean and just as unpredictable. As in the distance I caught sight of vile colours. I now see where the lightening cam from… the darkness at the end.

And with that I saw them playing. Hopping and skipping and floating about. Their laughter filled my spirit. Their purity evident in their eyes. The peace markable on their faces. The love radiating from their souls. These were the children of the sky. These were the children who made wishes come true. These are the children who bring their uniqueness into my life. These are the children, the children of the sky.

One of the children saw me and I was immediately expelled from nirvana. Normally that would be seen as negative action being taken against me, against anyone but this time it wasn’t. The beauty was too much for my mortal capacity to behold.

At that moment in time I didn’t see the sky through my own human eyes. No, I realised what I had seen was seen with my soul’s eye, my third eye and it was not of the physical world. For that brief time in space I entered the physical realm. I saw the unseen world. I know that I got a glimpse of heaven. My inner being tells me so.

Poem 1

Though the music’s playing, I can’t dance

I’ve forgotten the steps

I’ve forgotten to smile

While the sky travels the sun I stand still

The last time I ran, I fell

No one picked me up

When I become one day

The rain will rush to the earth much like the tide runs to the shore

The gulls will screech with glee

I will be me

And I will recall that one time I found my home

The last time I was held in your loving embrace

And you stole a kiss

Worth more

A billionaire was being interviewed. He refused brusquely to answer some of the questions asked of him. He was very matter-of-fact and unemotive; arrogant some would say.

Finally, the interviewer asked the inevitable question, ‘What is the best thing about being as wealthy as you are?’

The man blasély replied, ‘Nothing’.

The interviewer was taken aback yet placidly continued, ‘What would you do should you lose your fortune?’

The man smiled smugly and answered ‘I’ll go on living’

Now, by this time the interviewer was agitated; he inquired further, ‘What, if not the money, is the best thing about your life?’

The man beamed, his entire ambience changed. Love literally radiated from his eyes. He then responded, ‘My wife’.

The stunned interviewer sat back and asked what made her worth more than his fortune.

The man’s eyes softened and he expounded, ‘she has the spirit of a young child, the wisdom of a sage, the beauty of a goddess, the smile of sunlight and the soul of my beloved.’

The interview had clearly ended.